Anniversary No. 3!

Yesterday Joy and I celebrated two things:

1) The end of my first semester in my program here at Miami;
2) Our third anniversary.

To be honest, I started the day not sure which one I was more excited about. It turned out that Joy had the day off of school due to weather, so we were able to sleep in and then go out for breakfast. Yummy. Then I had to go to the psychology building to take my statistics final (I nailed the ANOVA!) before we had an afternoon of shopping. We met up with some friends to celebrate the end of the semester before heading home to get dressed up and make dinner. And what a dinner we made. Here was what was on the menu: steamed green beans, roasted rosemary Yukon gold potatoes, and pink peppercorn rack of lamb. That's right, rack of lamb. We had never made lamb before, but figured we'd try something new, and it was fantastic. After dinner, we watched part of our wedding video and ate Joy's molten spiced chocolate cabernet cakes. Amazing.








Happy Anniversary, Joy!

A Christmas Party & Joy's Graduation

Well, I have officially had my last class of the Fall 2008 semester. I'm focusing on the fact that I've completed one and trying to avoid thinking of just how many are still left. To celebrate Christmas and the end of our first semester, we first year clinical psychology students had our First Annual Christmas Extravaganza last night. And what an extravaganza it was, to be sure. Joy made some amazing cookies, we all shared highs and lows of the semester, Christmas pajamas were encouraged, Secret Santa was pure madness and glee, and at midnight we all surrounded the piano for the singing of some Christmas carols, which I'm sure our neighbors below just loved.

Although she completed her Master's a few months ago, Joy's graduation ceremony in Indiana is today, which she decided not to attend. So, last night at the Christmas Extravaganza, we decided to have a make-shift graduation ceremony of our own...










And yes, there's a video of the ceremony for your enjoyment!!!

Mayfly Designs

Looking for some custom handmade jewelry? Mayfly Designs is the place to go, and I think it just might be the stocking stuffer of 2008.

Joy and I have known Holly for years, and we've known that she's had a dream of having her own jewelry line. For Holly, creating unique and one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry is a passion, and making this passion a business has been a dream. And now that dream is a reality.

I love Holly, and I love her jewelry. I think what I love some much about the combo of the two is that Holly knew what her dream was and chased after it. How many of us have dreams that we simply let fall like sand through our fingers? We come up with all sorts of excuses: we're too busy, it's too impractical, it will never work.

I encourage you to do two things today:

1) Check out Holly's jewelry. Each piece is hand-made by Holly herself and she uses crystals, pearls, and semi-precious gems to create many of the pieces. (Don't forget to find the "Joy" necklace and ear-rings, named after my lovely wife!)

2) Check out your own dreams. What are they? Or, if it's been a while, what were they? What's a new dream you have? I hope you'll think it over and contemplate just how you might be able to see that dream come to fruition.

Thanksgiving 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Between Thanksgiving and New Year's, does it really get any better? Joy and I spent Thanksgiving this year with my parents, sister Jess, and brother-in-law Tim in north-central Ohio. AND...yes AND...we met our new nephew, Caleb Andrew!!! Now, people usually go on and on about how cute and funny and unique and...yawn...newborns are, but there can't be much better in life than being an uncle, and yes, this baby really is cute, funny, and unique. My brother, Nate, and his wife, Jessica, who live in the Philippines, had little Elijah this summer, and now there's two nephews! (And, indeed, there shall be four come spring when Joy's brother's wife has twins...).

Our Thanksgiving was the usual mix of sleeping and feedings, so the newborn fit right in with our family traditions already. And between the baby's feedings and my own, I think we got along quite well. Here are some pictures of our weekend for you to enjoy...

Halloween Weekend, Part 2

Hi friends! It's Joy again, ready for my second installment on No Man Is An Island.
Stephen and I are gearing up for our second Thanksgiving of the year. That’s right, the second. Our first Thanksgiving of 2008 happened over Halloween weekend with Luke and Becca. As mentioned in my previous entry, Luke and Becca Lentscher came to visit over Halloween weekend. They not only brought those sweet caveman/cavewoman costumes, but they also brought a 14 pound turkey. Becca and I share a love for cooking and entertaining, and often exchange recipes and ideas. However, neither of us had yet taken on the challenge of cleaning, stuffing, and baking a turkey, especially not for a high profile meal such as Thanksgiving. So we decided to tackle it together! This was a genius idea for multiple reasons: 1. It is way more fun to cook with a good friend. 2. Uncooked turkeys are heavy and somewhat gross, so it’s nice to have help. 3. Since it wasn’t actually Thanksgiving, if we did end up with a disaster, we could give it Colby, head to Chipotle, and call it a night.

So we got up early Saturday morning, headed to the farmer’s market for some fresh ingredients, and began the cooking. And I’m not just talking turkey; it was the whole Thanksgiving shabang! Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberries, stuffing, corn, fresh bread, and apple pie! There were a few intense moments right near the end when the food processor wouldn’t work, the cider was boiling, and we couldn’t find a bowl big enough to hold all the mashed potatoes. But, let’s just say, Chipotle was not needed. It may not have looked like the cover of Martha Stewart magazine, but the meal was delicious! It was such fun to share a holiday with great friends, and perhaps we have even started a new tradition. So, bring on Thanksgiving! Becca and I are ready! (Well….as long as we don’t have to do it alone!)

Halloween Weekend, Part 1

Hello faithful readers! Stephen is claiming that this masters/PhD program is "a lot of work," so he just hasn't had time to write. (I'm not sure I buy it since moments ago he was Gmail video chatting with multiple friends):) Nevertheless, I, Joy Allyce Bellito Becker am taking over the blog this week (mwuh ha ha). If all goes well and I receive positive feedback from the readers, I may start making appearances on a more regular basis.

About a month ago, Stephen announced that the first-year clinical psychology students were throwing a Halloween party, and we were on the PPC (party planning committee). With nearly 80 crazy psychologist wannabees invited, it was sure to be a great time. The greatest challenge: finding a cheap, easy to construct, and innovative costume. Many ideas were thrown onto the table, some of which might show up at future Halloween parties, but in the end, we went with Stephen's plan to be snorkelers. After a trip to Wal-Mart (ok, I think it actually took 2 or 3 trips), we had all the goods: coral reef shower curtains, swim caps, dowel rods, elastic, pins, and Duct tape. It took some carefully engineering, and the help of our small group from church who came through with the snorkel equipment, but I think the costumes were a hit! Mobility was limited, and we had to turn sideways to get through the door, but it was worth it. Oh...and there may or may not have been a choreographed number to Under the Sea.... ;)

As if all that wasn't enough excitement, our dear friends, Luke and Becca Lentscher also came to visit from Chicago that weekend. They are such great sports! When we told them they would need to be packing Halloween costumes, there was not a word of complaint! And although Luke's left nipple made multiple appearance throughout the evening, they looked great!

Election Day

Well, it's here. Bush is out and someone new is in. And sometime in the middle of the night, we're going to know just who that someone is. I got up early this morning to go vote, hoping I'd be able to do it before class. I was shocked to see that there was no line at 8:30. I easily found a parking space, and just walked right in. I am wearing my sticker to prove it.

On Sunday night, I was studying with a classmate, Anusha, when we saw online (okay, maybe we weren't studying 100%) that Barack was in Cincinnati that evening. Sadly, we found this out at about 8:15pm, and the rally at Univ. of Cincy was going to start at 9. We decided we'd go anyway. We figured, heck, it's two days before the election, and there's going to be lots of energy and news people regardless of if we can get in or not. We got directions, jumped in the car, and found our way to Cincinnati. We left Oxford around 8:45, fifteen minutes before the event was supposed to start. When we got the Cincinnati, we found parking quite easily and then just followed the crowd we could hear and the stadium lights we could see. And similar to my election experience this morning, we just walked right in. There were thousands and thousands of people there, but I was surprised to see how many empty seats there were too. We settled down near the opposite goal-post from Barack, and took in the scene.

It was a few minutes later that I realized we had gone through absolutely no security. No police checks, no sniffing dogs, no metal detectors.

All in all, it was a fun time, and we actually heard Obama speak for about 45 minutes even though we were substantially late. And while there was definite energy in the crowd, there were no trumpets, there was no lightening from Heaven, there was no Hallelujah Chorus.

In fact, The One With The Golden Voice sounded tired. Sounded like he was pounding through a speech he'd given hundreds of time as he pressed towards the finish line. People were leaving long before it was over. But towards the very end of the speech, he really started to get going, and a sense of excitement did surge throughout the crowd.

Regardless of your choice (or non-choice) for president, this election has caused some electricity to surge through the nation. What we do with that electricity will be another story. If we sit back and hope The Elected One comes to office and rushes to save us, I'm afraid we'll likely be no better off than where we are now. So go out and vote, and then go and be some change yourself.

I Have A Second Nephew!

I just got a call a little bit ago from a call I didn't recognize. I decided to answer, and my sister was on the other end. She tried to tell me that my little nephew had been born, and I thought she was kidding (wondering if she was confusing Halloween with April Fools Day). Well, it began to sink in and I decided that my sister sounded tired enough, so maybe she really did just deliver a baby.

So, Welcome, Caleb Andrew Bright!!! Caleb was born 25 days early, but is healthy and well, a little over five pounds. Jessica is also doing well, and rumour has it that Tim is already wearing some Happy Dad t-shirt.

On top of this exciting news (now I have two nephews!), Joy and I are going to double that in April. Joy's brother and his wife are expecting identical twins, and while we knew about this for a while, we just found out yesterday that they are boys!

I must begin my planning and efforts so that I can be the best uncle possible. This is so fun!!!

Congratulations, Jess and Tim, and HELLO CALEB!!!

Barack O'Lanterns!

In my last post, I give my readers a picture of the jack-o-lantern that Joy and I carved last weekend. On all accounts, it’s what you might expect to see on any average porch throughout the month of October. But America—with endless creativity, a penchant for a good laugh, and perhaps a bit too much time on our hands—gives us so many other options.

As soon as I heard about www.YesWeCarve.com, I knew I had to check it out. I mean, honestly, this is a highly-amusing site that helps the average American (dare I say, the Average Joe?) show their political support for Barry with their very own Barack O’Lantern (complete with pumpkin-themed political puns, stencils, a contest, and BYOP events). Art imitates life, right?

And these aren’t your average overgrown orange veggies. Go to the site and check out what people are doing. Seriously, what did you do with your Tuesday night? Well, if you feel inspired, you can download your own template and make your own. It’s gotta be better than some bumper sticker, right?

Fall Festivities

This Friday, Joy and I got together with some other couples from our Community Group at church for some enjoyment of all things fall. Positively, October is the best month of the year. Not only that, but October leads to November and Thanksgiving, which brings us into the Christmas season, which really gets me excited. I'm already itching to start playing Mariah Carey's Christmas CD, but for now, it's still October, and we had much to celebrate as the leaves' colors begin to fade and the crispness in the air leads to dew-laden mornings.

One of the couples in our Community Group lives out in the country in the basement of an elderly couple's home. They take care of the property in exchange for rent, and the property is vast and beautiful. And, there are animals! Chickens, goats (my favorite, of course), and even an emu! An egg the size of my head!

We first did some walking through the woods, visited the animals, and then went inside for dinner. Dinner consisted of hot dogs (we were going to roast them, but it'd been raining all day), and, some freshly prepared bear-meat stew. Believe it.

Dinner was filled with laughter and a certain giddiness, and then the knives came out for the pumpkin carving. And carve we did. Joy and I worked as a team, she at the drawing board and I at the blade. In the end, we were quite happy with our finished product.

We then ventured outside to spend a few evaporating hours around a campfire. We told jokes and stories and were thankful and blessed as the logs crackled and the flames jumped with October glee. A very nice evening indeed.

A Political Laugh

One good thing about Sarah Palin entering the national political arena is that there is ripe material for some great comedy. We've all seen the Saturday Night Lives (and if you haven't, you really should), but my friend Drew sent me this link and thought it worthwhile to post it here for you: http://www.palinaspresident.us/. Be sure to move your mouse around and click on everything in the room! I do it over and over and over. And tell me, what part is your favorite?

The End of Zima's Zenith

Many good things come to an end. Many not so good things, too. One of those is ZIMA, the "alcopop" that hit the shelves in 1993. Indeed, the cool-sounding beverage in the cool-looking bottle blurred the lines between beer and hard alcohol. Now, I must confess that my personal experiences with the product are rather limited, but there comes a moment we all must acknowledge that so much of the 1990's has now left us: The Clintons, The Economy, and now, The Original Malternative.

Perhaps more personally, the discontinuation of Zima makes me reflect back on a time when I was in my youth, oh so many moons ago. And so, I dedicate this post to Drew and Blom and those memories we all have which make us wonder in amazement in who we were and what we were thinking.

Still Undecided

As I sit here tonight watching the final presidential debate of the 2008 election, I realize that I am still one of those who simply can't make up their minds. Yes, I confess, I'm undecided.

I write this confession with trepidation and hesitation. People on either side will be distraught at my lack of insight and intelligence to the obvious choice and will wonder how I am still on the fence (although, truthfully, I do seem to be falling off on one side) when we all know this election has been going on for far too long.

For one, I actually respect both men, mostly because they both want the job. Goodness, I am a little surprised there are actually two people who want to be president. With everything going on, I would assume we'd have to play a bloody game of euchre, and if you can't call the suit, you just screw the dealer.

Seriously, can you imagine the job description for the incoming president? Figure out how to avoid a Millennial Depression (I don't even want to talk about my Roth IRA), have a workable plan for an expensive war (and all the vets coming home), give attention to immigration (please, not another fence...), regain a respectable name in the world while interacting with serious world powers (Russia, China, Iran...), deal with educational deflation (Barack says he'll give my wife a raise...we'll see...), manage the health of the nation and the income of the retired (would I actually be able to go to a dentist?), and to top it off, both sides of the aisle now care about the environment, but each seem clueless as to what could or should actually be done.

I am no serious political mind, but I have some thoughts on this spectrum of issues. And yet, which issue matters most? Aye, there's the rub. I've got just about three weeks left to figure it all out.

If only I'd been chosen as one of those undecideds to hang out with Katie Couric for the evening.

Joy A. Becker, M.A.

There is an announcement and congratulations that is long overdue. Late last month, Joy completed her Master’s in Education, and I am as proud as a peacock in spring. Joy works tirelessly each week as an elementary teacher, and I see every evening just how much thought and personal energy she puts into being the best possible teacher for her mix of students.

This summer, she left the resourceful and supportive teaching environment of the northwest suburbs of Chicago, complete with ethnic diversity and economically-advantaged children (for the majority, but certainly not all). She now teaches in a rural community in Indiana, and the contrast is evident in every possible domain. But in both of these juxtaposed settings, there are very clear challenges and obstacles. Joy faces each of these with thought, intent, and care. Parents are ridiculously fortunate when their children are in her class.

On top of the daily grind of contemporary teaching, Joy spent the last eighteen months completing her master’s degree. The whole program was online, and during the entire eighteen months, we never even had the Internet. That is a modern marvel indeed. Congratulations, Joy!

A Wedding and a Latte

This past weekend, Joy and I flew to Boston for the wedding of Taylor Horner and Elizabeth Robinson. Without a doubt, it goes straight to the top of the list for Best Wedding Ever, well, at least of the ones I’ve been to. I’m not sure if it takes the absolute prize above other great weddings (it’s hard for any one to be the definitive best), but there was one moment during the reception that I leaned over to Joy as we were eating our butternut squash soup out of baked miniature pumpkins and asked, “Are you enjoying this wedding more than you enjoyed ours? Because I sure am.”

But jokes aside, there were many things that made this wedding special: the fact that it was my first experience being best man (and, in fact, I shared this honor with the esteemed Kevin LaMar Welty), the fact that this was a wedding in the heart of my favorite American city, and the fact that there was a wedding-perfect jazz band playing at the reception (set in an absolutely gorgeous multi-room ballroom, echoing with nuance and sophistication characteristic of early 20th century Boston and its distinct yet approachable refined elegance and gilded art—think “Great Gatsby” without the steroids). All in all, it was one of those rare moments when all that is good and beautiful comes together in some way that is divine and sacred. A little piece of heaven: a celebration of love and beauty that is accented with laughter, friendship, and straight-up joy and dancing.

Anyone who knows me knows that Taylor and I have a unique relationship, and it was a pleasure to spend time with him during the days preceding his wedding. As unassuming as one could ever anticipate in those final 48 hours, Taylor was thoughtful and calm, prepared yet not, and interested in a lot more than just himself and his wedding day. Because of a late night the evening before the wedding, I ended up staying with Taylor in his apartment rather than find my way back to where I was staying for the weekend. Taylor and I talked for a couple of hours into the early morning, and I was reminded of the dozens of times we’d done similarly, with conversations that layered the foundation and established the depth of our relationship. This evening was no different. It wasn’t cluttered with Taylor ruminating over wedding details or clichéd examinations of his imminent future (something I would surely be prone to), but carried the same amount of humility and sensitivity I’ve come to simply expect. Taylor asked me about my new life in Ohio, my academic program, and my life with Joy. He asked about his god-dog, Colby, and we chatted about professional and personal goals. Except for a few moments, the conversation might as well have been happening on any other night in our lives, because Taylor avoids unnecessary ballyhoo.

On the day of the wedding, Taylor and stopped by his favorite coffee shop for some hazelnut lattes. With all of the grand and beautiful events of the weekend, that moment stands out in its quietness and simplicity. While I don’t get to see Taylor in person as much as I once did, those moments remind me of how many unique friendships have formed the core of much of who I am today, and for Taylor to give me such valuable time on his wedding day gives me reason to pause.

The rehearsal dinner was delightful, and the wedding itself was rapturous. The others at the wedding made for hearty laughter, and we danced wildly as the jazz flowed under a glistening ballroom. And on one rainy Sunday afternoon, Taylor and I went out and got lattes. All told, it was as divine and special as a wedding weekend could ever be.

Why I Do Wilderness Therapy

It was just about a month ago now that I was staffed on a wilderness therapy trip with my former internship site. Anyone who knows me knows that I love wilderness therapy. It's one of those rare things that combines all sorts of my varied passions and feels wonderfully natural and authentic. Doing therapy in an office is fine, but doing therapy under the stars or next to the water brings a whole new element of beauty and healing.

I purposely sought out my internship site due to their leadership in the field of wilderness therapy, particularly since it's so rare in the Midwest. As I went into my internship, I was hoping to simply learn about the modality, with my high goal to get on a trip. Well, I did a spring break kayaking trip to Lake Powell, Utah, which was definitively the highlight of my clinical experiences thus far. Somehow, they liked me enough to let me keep the connection going, and in June I went on a weekend trip with the same clients from the Utah trip. And now that my internship is over, I actually get paid for it all, which isn't so bad.

The clients that we took on this trip were not actually clients from the agency, but from a residential facility for boys who aren't living with their families for a variety of reasons. This was a week-long trip in Wisconsin, where the first five days were spent in the northern part of the state, doing a little white-water canoeing on the not-so-grand Flambeau River and the last few days rock-climbing and hiking in Devils Lake State Park. Indeed, there are always funny moments while interacting with adolescents ("So, if Adam and Eve hadn't eaten that apple, we'd all be walking around naked right now? Man, that'd be awesome!") and they even got me to develop my rapping skills. After my second time at freesytling, one kid even said, "Yo, theater rap is gonna be the next big thing! Ya smell me! I love theater rap!"

The six boys on our trip ranged in age from 14-16, and each impressed me with their ability to challenge themselves, encourage each other, and learn something about community. These are young men who have painful stories, distrust for others, and are surrounded by relationships that are instable at best and abusive at worst.

At the beginning of most of our meals, we gave the two boys who were on the Cook Team a quote and question book, where they could choose one question to ask the group and/or a quote to stimulate conversation. (I was in charge of all the food, so they were my team! Each day there was also a Boat/Water Team and a Camp Team and the boys rotated each day.) The quesitons range from those that are completely non-threatening ("If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?") to those that inspire intimacy and vulnerability. The first two guys stepped right up to the plate, and chose a rather revealing multiple-choice question:

My parents spent: too much time with me, enough time with me, not enough time with me.

Each boy then went around and answered the question with striking honesty and sincerity, especially considering how early it was in the trip. We sat around the campfire and each one talked about their mom or dad, their grandma or caregiver. While such insightful moments did not permeate every moment of the trip, the boys addressed some of their goals, their challenges, and their fears, both emotional and physical.

These are boys who have seen violence on the streetcorners of Chicago and, more often, inside their own homes. These are boys who have no problem defying authority, because authority only represents abused power and personal disregard. These are boys who can laugh one minute and be triggered to swearing and violence the next because a joke went just a little too far. At one campsite, there was an opportunity for us to teach the boys how to walk through rapids and then swim through an open area with some mild rapids. There are skills involved in doing this for anyone, but for these boys, it was as if they were climbing Everest. Some were shaking, some were close to tears, and each one of them was stripped away from the facades that bring them a sense of security and safety. And when each one of them crossed the river and then swam down the rapids, there was a permeating joy and clear sense of accomplishment. You could see what I might call the authentic self coming through, and it was beautiful.

These are the moments I love about wilderness therapy that simply don't happen within four walls. The natural elements meet each of us in a different way, but they do meet us, and even if we are resistant to being known or letting our guard down, they continue to press us to know ourselves as a part of something bigger than we could previously imagine. For me, it always comes down to relationships, and the way in which relationships can be used to foster healing. This is why I am a therapist, and this is why I continue to work with adolescents, because they ask the tough questions in the midst of the enormity of identity development. And, of course, they also let me rap.

The Alaskan Intrigue

Just when you thought this election couldn't get any more exciting, John McCain brings Sarah Palin into the mix, and the country can't digest it fast enough. A case of classic political ballyhoo, or maverick ingenious? I'm not yet sure that that question can be answered quite yet, but either way you look at, it sure is interesting.

I've done a fair share of reading about this Palin woman over the last week, and my sources are as diverse as The New York Times and Wikipedia. I've seen the picture of the governor sitting in her bear-decorated office, wondered just how enthusiastic the daugher/boyfriend are about getting married, and am drawn to her looks, which are simple yet captivating. It's as if she's trying to look like she's not trying, with her fashionable glasses and schoolteacher hairstyle and all. But hey, I love the schoolteacher look (I am, indeed, married to one), and, you know, I actually don't think she is trying all that much. Just wait until she lets her hair down, and then see what happens.

And after all the scuttlebutt, we all simply had to give up reading about the woman and watch the woman herself. And regardless of what side of the fence you are on, or even if you're in the middle of that fence, the woman didn't disappoint. I mean, can you imagine the pressure? But poised and direct, Palin jumped right into the challenge, mixing direct attacks with her personal resume, throwing in some family details and even a few jokes. I mean, this woman sold the governor's jet on eBay. To be a no-name Alaskan one day and in the center of a hotly-disputed, scandal-driven, vetting-questioned presidential election the next must be no small challenge. But, then again, nothing in Alaska is small.

Why, Oh Why, Ohio?

I've moved to Ohio twice in my life: during the summer before my freshman year of high school and the summer before my doctoral education. And now, I've twice gotten poison ivy upon my move to Ohio.

Could I just be allergic to this entire state?

I Like Barack, But I Love Michelle

I've been thinking this for some time now: I'm a big fan of Michelle Obama. I was reminded of this last night as she spoke at the Democratic National Convention. I remember first watching her during the early days of the primaries. She was poised, well-dressed, and confident, but it came across different than, well, another leading female in the spotlight. Then she was on the cover of Newsweek sometime in early summer, and I was again intrigued by this woman. She carries with her grace and guts, clarity and compassion, brazenness, beauty, and brains. While all eyes are on Barack, I continue to think the person to be watching just may be Michelle.

First Day of School

Well, in about one hour I will go to my first class as a graduate student at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. I feel like I've already begun, as I already have tons to read and am jumping into two research projects with faculty. Both are interesting and both involve adolescents, so I'm pretty excited. All of the current graduate students that I've met so far keep telling us that we just have to brace ourselves and make it through the first year, and I'm ready to actually start and stop having to wonder about all of the unknowns with the program. This semester I have four classes in addition to the two research projects, and I'm also supposed to be doing my own research and reading as I begin to consider what I want to do for my masters thesis next year.

In other news, Joy and I visited a church yesterday that we loved. Oxford Bible Fellowship is right on the corner of Miami's campus, and the pastor went to Moody and is taking some classes at Trinity (the church is an Evangelical Free Church), so we were able to talk about Chicago together. Joy and I arrived about five minutes before the service was about to start, and it was PACKED. It was the first weekend with the college students back, and they came out in full force. They ended up putting in more seats wherever they could, and people were sitting on the floor, on window ledges, and a bunch of guys sat in the choir loft on stage. They ended up having to add seats to the foyer because they couldn't let anyone else in the sanctuary. Needless to say, it was a pretty sweet thing to witness, and the energy was so fun. We both would have thought we were at a Christian college chapel as opposed to a church at a public university, but then various organizations like Campus Crusade and the Navigators spoke about the various ministries around the university. As I sat on a make-shift chair in the very back, I couldn't help but reflect on how beautiful the whole thing was and was simply blessed to be a part of it.

Now I gotta get to class! Here we go!!!

The Other Five

In starting a new academic program, there are so many unknowns. I'll be working closely with faculty in developing research and clinical skills, somehow figure out what my own research projects will be, and make my way through the years and years of the clinical psychology program.

One of the biggest unknowns comes with those that begin the program alongside myself. When you know that you're going to be going through five years of school with just five other individuals, they can either make it a tolerable (who knows, perhaps even enjoyable) experience or one of pure misery and competition. While much is still to be decided, some of the unknown was taken out this weekend when I was able to meet these other five. It's interesting to consider that the six of us might likely never have crossed paths, coming from California to D.C., but that we will be so intimately connected as we move through this program together over this next half-decade.

We all gathered for dinner at a local restaurant in town, Kona Bistro. As I walked to the restaurant with Joy (I am the only married student entering the program), I told her my goals: to come across as confident but not cocky, funny but not goofy, intelligent but not excessively academic, and, above all, not too weird. I assume they all had the exact same goals as myself, so the first few minutes consisted of some mildly awkward introductions and generic questions. When did you move into town? Where are you living? Where are you from? Etc., etc., etc. We made it through dinner with only a handful of awkward silences, and overall, it was actually enjoyable. The thing that matters to me in beginning the program is not that I always look like I know what I'm doing, because goodness knows we'll all have times when we're clueless or overwhelmed. What matters to me is that I have others to go with me through those moments when I'm overwhelmed or don't have a clue, and I am hopeful that this will indeed be the case.

After dinner, we continued to sit at our table for a while, and as we talked more, our conversations relaxed and our personas began to show a little more through the thinly-veiled barrier or self-preservation. As drinks were ordered, congeniality developed, which was aided by the fact that I ordered blue-cheese olives with my standard drink (commonplace in Chicago) and the waitress was as confused as I will be when I start statistics next week. It all ended with me making my own blue-cheese olives right there at the table, at which point I knew I'd failed at each and every one of my goals.

But no matter, because the reality is that my own self and personality cannot be hidden for too long, and so much the better. And it must not have gone too horribly, since Joy and I played tennis with two of the other students yesterday. Now we start classes in a week and let the real fun begin!

What I'm Excited For In Ohio

Wow, so much has happened in the last two weeks! Joy has a job, I finished a week-long wilderness therapy trip, and we're now moved and settled into our place in Oxford, Ohio! Since Joy came half a week before I did with the movers, I was all by myself as I drove away from Chicago on Tuesday night. I couldn't help but reflect on some of my favorite memories from Chicagoland, but also had a sense of excitement as I began a drive to my new home. Here are five things that I am most excited about as I make the move:

5) Living in a College Town. Right now, the streets are peaceful and the restaurants and bars are quiet. Well, in about a week, 18,000 undergraduates will flood this small town as another school year begins. There is a definite sense of collegeness about this town, and it's fun to be a part of it from a little distance. I'm still involved in the school as a graduate student, but nearly so close to it that I need to be closing the bars at 3am. Still young to enjoy the energy and activities, but old enough that I don't have to deal with all the college drama. Sounds great to me.

4) Our Apartment. We had looked at a few apartments during one of our visits to Oxford this summer, and let's just say they left much to be desired. We were pretty discouraged as we saw pipes hanging from the ceiling, mustard-yellow appliances, and stains all over the carpets and ceilings. Plus, I couldn't imagine life without a dishwasher. Well, just as we were about to sign a lease, Joy decided there simply had to be a better option. After some intense internet searching, we found a place that looked and sounded great. We didn't have time to visit and check it out in person, so we signed the papers thinking it simply couldn't be worse that what we'd already seen. And it's so much better than that...it's wonderful. We've spent lots of time already making it feel like home, and it has a great guest bedroom, so you can feel free to come visit at anytime!

3) The Program. There are so many unknowns that swirl through my mind when I consider what this Ph.D. program will actually entail, but I'm actually excited about figuring it all out. In a lot of ways, I feel that I am in way over my head and have no idea what I'm doing, but isn't that part of the whole point? I sure hope so.

2) Traffic. Gone are the days of endless Chicago construction, bumper to bumper traffic at midnight, and constant road rage. I've been flying down some of the country roads, and there has not been one stop light that I've had to wait at for more than one rotation. Fantastic.

1) The Great Adventure. As Steven Curtis Chapman once put it, it's time to saddle up our horses. While there is so much we will miss about Chicago, Joy and I are truly starting of on our own here in Ohio. Neither of us know anyone or where anything is, and we are figuring it all out together. There's something creative and romantic about it all, and we're ready to give it a try and see what happens!

What I'll Miss About Chicago

My time as a resident of Illinois is rapidly evaporating. The next week will be a little crazy, as Joy moves to Ohio while I'm on a wilderness therapy trip in Wisconsin. As would be expected, there are things we are excited about in moving and also things which cause us to pause and be grateful for these years in the suburbs of Chicago. Here are the top five things I shall miss about moving away, and in my next post I'll focus on what I am most excited about in moving. Here we go...

5) The City of Chicago. I want it to be known that I really like Chicago. While there is so much in the city itself that I have not yet explored, I love having the city nearby for excursions and events. We enjoyed the First Annual Looptopia, the Lyric Opera, and several Cubs games at Wrigley. We walked along the lake each summer and Michigan Avenue each Christmas. When visitors come in from the country, we like going to places like Shedd Aquarium and the Art Institute, and even checked out Frank Lloyd's Wright home with my parents. "Wicked" was wickedly fun, there is bliss in the madness of the Fourth of July (although I am not as much a fan of The Taste of Chicago), and many restaurants have fed me particularly well. And everyone knows it's just plain fun to try doing triple-toe-loops while ice skating in Millennium Park.

4). Life on the Vine. This is our church, and while it took us more time than we anticipated to settle into a church after getting married, we've really come to find community here. Particularly, we will miss what our church calls House Gathering, when a small group of people come together to live life together. We would meet each Thursday night, share a meal, and discuss and challenge each other in what it means to live an intentional life focused on sharing Christ with others in jobs and school. We would pray together, share joys and challenges, and, perhaps most frequently, laugh. This group of people have become so special to Joy and me, and it's hard to imagine what our Thursday nights will look like without them. Nonetheless, we are thankful for these relationships and the impact they have made.

3) Joe Caputo's. Joe Caputo's is our grocery store of choice. And it should be noted that finding a grocery store can be a difficult task. (I know what you're already thinking: "He's gonna miss his grocery store more than he misses his church?!") While Caputo's may not always have the selection in some items that a larger store does, they simply cannot be beat when it comes to their produce and deli. Not only are they much cheaper, but their selection is expansive and eclectic. As an International Fruit Market, they bring in produce for any variety of ethnic dishes. We would try new fruits and vegetables, while some we simply enjoyed looking at up close, not knowing exactly what this or that was or how to prepare it for digestion. Where in Ohio will I go when I need some real Italian prosciutto or pancetta? What other store will we love so much that we actually take out-of-state guests there when they come to visit so we can show them our favorite place to shop? What store will have aisles dedicated to Lithuanian, Filipino, or Croatian products? I have no idea what a Lithuanian meal might look like, but at least I know where I'd go if I ever decided to find out. 

2) The Wightmans. Of course we will miss all of our family and friends who live in the Chicago area. The Bellitos are dearly loved and are part of a support system we've come to know and appreciate, although immediate family is usually expected to play a pivotal role in one's personal life.  You don't necessarily expect an entire family of strangers to sweep in and claim you as their own. Indeed, the Wightmans, as I've blogged about before, hold a special place in my heart. This is the family that took me in when I was penniless and destitute (as many graduate students are), and gave me so much more than a roof and a bed. I really have come to see the Wightmans as my very own family in Chicago. Roger and Gale love me as parents love their children (and, in fact, have introduced me to their friends as one of their own), and I relish the time I get to spend with Ellen and Khalia, as well as Sean, Alice, and Tyler. Joy and I were able to have dinner with the family a few weeks ago, and I was caught off guard at the emotions I felt when we drove away. I hadn't expected to get very affective, but as we left sweet Leon Lane, I knew that I was driving away from one of the clearest blessings in my life during these past three years. I've taken a picture of the plate they made and gave to Joy and me at dinner, and it's positively one of the most thoughtful gifts I've been given. There is the Chicago skyline with the entire Wightman family playing on the beach. And Stephen and Joy and Colby are all there too. 

1) County Glen Apartments. The truth is that no matter where we go or where we ever end up living, Country Glen Apartments will always be our first home. As every young married couple should, we have countless stories about living in a mid-grade apartment complex, complete with pot-smoking neighbors, broken toilets, and silly signs from the management ("The garbage disposal is no longer intended for food"). I've pounded on the ceiling to get the OCD neighbor to stop vacuuming at 3am the night before an exam, and I've called the police 3 times for various reasons. We got renter's insurance after the woman upstairs threatened our lives, and we observed in horror the dog across the hallway using the balcony for its defecating needs because the owners wouldn't take it down the stairs and outside. And let's not forget that it was in Country Glen that I found out I had tuberculosis! (Some might say that Country Glen is where I contracted tuberculosis, but that is yet to be definitively confirmed.) But what I will remember the most are the countless good memories that Joy and I have from Apartment C.  It was special to decorate our apartment for our very first Christmas together, and then there were the monthly Friday nights when we would take our mattress from the bedroom and put it on the floor in the living room, watching TV and eating popcorn late into the night. We even did this on a few Saturdays, celebrating Over the Rhine's song, "Let's Spend the Day in Bed." Sure, we'll be able to do all of these things in Ohio or anywhere else we live, but nothing will ever be the same as Country Glen. While we're glad to move on, the Thirty Month Lease will long be remembered with fondness.