Why, Oh Why, Ohio?

I've moved to Ohio twice in my life: during the summer before my freshman year of high school and the summer before my doctoral education. And now, I've twice gotten poison ivy upon my move to Ohio.

Could I just be allergic to this entire state?

I Like Barack, But I Love Michelle

I've been thinking this for some time now: I'm a big fan of Michelle Obama. I was reminded of this last night as she spoke at the Democratic National Convention. I remember first watching her during the early days of the primaries. She was poised, well-dressed, and confident, but it came across different than, well, another leading female in the spotlight. Then she was on the cover of Newsweek sometime in early summer, and I was again intrigued by this woman. She carries with her grace and guts, clarity and compassion, brazenness, beauty, and brains. While all eyes are on Barack, I continue to think the person to be watching just may be Michelle.

First Day of School

Well, in about one hour I will go to my first class as a graduate student at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. I feel like I've already begun, as I already have tons to read and am jumping into two research projects with faculty. Both are interesting and both involve adolescents, so I'm pretty excited. All of the current graduate students that I've met so far keep telling us that we just have to brace ourselves and make it through the first year, and I'm ready to actually start and stop having to wonder about all of the unknowns with the program. This semester I have four classes in addition to the two research projects, and I'm also supposed to be doing my own research and reading as I begin to consider what I want to do for my masters thesis next year.

In other news, Joy and I visited a church yesterday that we loved. Oxford Bible Fellowship is right on the corner of Miami's campus, and the pastor went to Moody and is taking some classes at Trinity (the church is an Evangelical Free Church), so we were able to talk about Chicago together. Joy and I arrived about five minutes before the service was about to start, and it was PACKED. It was the first weekend with the college students back, and they came out in full force. They ended up putting in more seats wherever they could, and people were sitting on the floor, on window ledges, and a bunch of guys sat in the choir loft on stage. They ended up having to add seats to the foyer because they couldn't let anyone else in the sanctuary. Needless to say, it was a pretty sweet thing to witness, and the energy was so fun. We both would have thought we were at a Christian college chapel as opposed to a church at a public university, but then various organizations like Campus Crusade and the Navigators spoke about the various ministries around the university. As I sat on a make-shift chair in the very back, I couldn't help but reflect on how beautiful the whole thing was and was simply blessed to be a part of it.

Now I gotta get to class! Here we go!!!

The Other Five

In starting a new academic program, there are so many unknowns. I'll be working closely with faculty in developing research and clinical skills, somehow figure out what my own research projects will be, and make my way through the years and years of the clinical psychology program.

One of the biggest unknowns comes with those that begin the program alongside myself. When you know that you're going to be going through five years of school with just five other individuals, they can either make it a tolerable (who knows, perhaps even enjoyable) experience or one of pure misery and competition. While much is still to be decided, some of the unknown was taken out this weekend when I was able to meet these other five. It's interesting to consider that the six of us might likely never have crossed paths, coming from California to D.C., but that we will be so intimately connected as we move through this program together over this next half-decade.

We all gathered for dinner at a local restaurant in town, Kona Bistro. As I walked to the restaurant with Joy (I am the only married student entering the program), I told her my goals: to come across as confident but not cocky, funny but not goofy, intelligent but not excessively academic, and, above all, not too weird. I assume they all had the exact same goals as myself, so the first few minutes consisted of some mildly awkward introductions and generic questions. When did you move into town? Where are you living? Where are you from? Etc., etc., etc. We made it through dinner with only a handful of awkward silences, and overall, it was actually enjoyable. The thing that matters to me in beginning the program is not that I always look like I know what I'm doing, because goodness knows we'll all have times when we're clueless or overwhelmed. What matters to me is that I have others to go with me through those moments when I'm overwhelmed or don't have a clue, and I am hopeful that this will indeed be the case.

After dinner, we continued to sit at our table for a while, and as we talked more, our conversations relaxed and our personas began to show a little more through the thinly-veiled barrier or self-preservation. As drinks were ordered, congeniality developed, which was aided by the fact that I ordered blue-cheese olives with my standard drink (commonplace in Chicago) and the waitress was as confused as I will be when I start statistics next week. It all ended with me making my own blue-cheese olives right there at the table, at which point I knew I'd failed at each and every one of my goals.

But no matter, because the reality is that my own self and personality cannot be hidden for too long, and so much the better. And it must not have gone too horribly, since Joy and I played tennis with two of the other students yesterday. Now we start classes in a week and let the real fun begin!

What I'm Excited For In Ohio

Wow, so much has happened in the last two weeks! Joy has a job, I finished a week-long wilderness therapy trip, and we're now moved and settled into our place in Oxford, Ohio! Since Joy came half a week before I did with the movers, I was all by myself as I drove away from Chicago on Tuesday night. I couldn't help but reflect on some of my favorite memories from Chicagoland, but also had a sense of excitement as I began a drive to my new home. Here are five things that I am most excited about as I make the move:

5) Living in a College Town. Right now, the streets are peaceful and the restaurants and bars are quiet. Well, in about a week, 18,000 undergraduates will flood this small town as another school year begins. There is a definite sense of collegeness about this town, and it's fun to be a part of it from a little distance. I'm still involved in the school as a graduate student, but nearly so close to it that I need to be closing the bars at 3am. Still young to enjoy the energy and activities, but old enough that I don't have to deal with all the college drama. Sounds great to me.

4) Our Apartment. We had looked at a few apartments during one of our visits to Oxford this summer, and let's just say they left much to be desired. We were pretty discouraged as we saw pipes hanging from the ceiling, mustard-yellow appliances, and stains all over the carpets and ceilings. Plus, I couldn't imagine life without a dishwasher. Well, just as we were about to sign a lease, Joy decided there simply had to be a better option. After some intense internet searching, we found a place that looked and sounded great. We didn't have time to visit and check it out in person, so we signed the papers thinking it simply couldn't be worse that what we'd already seen. And it's so much better than that...it's wonderful. We've spent lots of time already making it feel like home, and it has a great guest bedroom, so you can feel free to come visit at anytime!

3) The Program. There are so many unknowns that swirl through my mind when I consider what this Ph.D. program will actually entail, but I'm actually excited about figuring it all out. In a lot of ways, I feel that I am in way over my head and have no idea what I'm doing, but isn't that part of the whole point? I sure hope so.

2) Traffic. Gone are the days of endless Chicago construction, bumper to bumper traffic at midnight, and constant road rage. I've been flying down some of the country roads, and there has not been one stop light that I've had to wait at for more than one rotation. Fantastic.

1) The Great Adventure. As Steven Curtis Chapman once put it, it's time to saddle up our horses. While there is so much we will miss about Chicago, Joy and I are truly starting of on our own here in Ohio. Neither of us know anyone or where anything is, and we are figuring it all out together. There's something creative and romantic about it all, and we're ready to give it a try and see what happens!

What I'll Miss About Chicago

My time as a resident of Illinois is rapidly evaporating. The next week will be a little crazy, as Joy moves to Ohio while I'm on a wilderness therapy trip in Wisconsin. As would be expected, there are things we are excited about in moving and also things which cause us to pause and be grateful for these years in the suburbs of Chicago. Here are the top five things I shall miss about moving away, and in my next post I'll focus on what I am most excited about in moving. Here we go...

5) The City of Chicago. I want it to be known that I really like Chicago. While there is so much in the city itself that I have not yet explored, I love having the city nearby for excursions and events. We enjoyed the First Annual Looptopia, the Lyric Opera, and several Cubs games at Wrigley. We walked along the lake each summer and Michigan Avenue each Christmas. When visitors come in from the country, we like going to places like Shedd Aquarium and the Art Institute, and even checked out Frank Lloyd's Wright home with my parents. "Wicked" was wickedly fun, there is bliss in the madness of the Fourth of July (although I am not as much a fan of The Taste of Chicago), and many restaurants have fed me particularly well. And everyone knows it's just plain fun to try doing triple-toe-loops while ice skating in Millennium Park.

4). Life on the Vine. This is our church, and while it took us more time than we anticipated to settle into a church after getting married, we've really come to find community here. Particularly, we will miss what our church calls House Gathering, when a small group of people come together to live life together. We would meet each Thursday night, share a meal, and discuss and challenge each other in what it means to live an intentional life focused on sharing Christ with others in jobs and school. We would pray together, share joys and challenges, and, perhaps most frequently, laugh. This group of people have become so special to Joy and me, and it's hard to imagine what our Thursday nights will look like without them. Nonetheless, we are thankful for these relationships and the impact they have made.

3) Joe Caputo's. Joe Caputo's is our grocery store of choice. And it should be noted that finding a grocery store can be a difficult task. (I know what you're already thinking: "He's gonna miss his grocery store more than he misses his church?!") While Caputo's may not always have the selection in some items that a larger store does, they simply cannot be beat when it comes to their produce and deli. Not only are they much cheaper, but their selection is expansive and eclectic. As an International Fruit Market, they bring in produce for any variety of ethnic dishes. We would try new fruits and vegetables, while some we simply enjoyed looking at up close, not knowing exactly what this or that was or how to prepare it for digestion. Where in Ohio will I go when I need some real Italian prosciutto or pancetta? What other store will we love so much that we actually take out-of-state guests there when they come to visit so we can show them our favorite place to shop? What store will have aisles dedicated to Lithuanian, Filipino, or Croatian products? I have no idea what a Lithuanian meal might look like, but at least I know where I'd go if I ever decided to find out. 

2) The Wightmans. Of course we will miss all of our family and friends who live in the Chicago area. The Bellitos are dearly loved and are part of a support system we've come to know and appreciate, although immediate family is usually expected to play a pivotal role in one's personal life.  You don't necessarily expect an entire family of strangers to sweep in and claim you as their own. Indeed, the Wightmans, as I've blogged about before, hold a special place in my heart. This is the family that took me in when I was penniless and destitute (as many graduate students are), and gave me so much more than a roof and a bed. I really have come to see the Wightmans as my very own family in Chicago. Roger and Gale love me as parents love their children (and, in fact, have introduced me to their friends as one of their own), and I relish the time I get to spend with Ellen and Khalia, as well as Sean, Alice, and Tyler. Joy and I were able to have dinner with the family a few weeks ago, and I was caught off guard at the emotions I felt when we drove away. I hadn't expected to get very affective, but as we left sweet Leon Lane, I knew that I was driving away from one of the clearest blessings in my life during these past three years. I've taken a picture of the plate they made and gave to Joy and me at dinner, and it's positively one of the most thoughtful gifts I've been given. There is the Chicago skyline with the entire Wightman family playing on the beach. And Stephen and Joy and Colby are all there too. 

1) County Glen Apartments. The truth is that no matter where we go or where we ever end up living, Country Glen Apartments will always be our first home. As every young married couple should, we have countless stories about living in a mid-grade apartment complex, complete with pot-smoking neighbors, broken toilets, and silly signs from the management ("The garbage disposal is no longer intended for food"). I've pounded on the ceiling to get the OCD neighbor to stop vacuuming at 3am the night before an exam, and I've called the police 3 times for various reasons. We got renter's insurance after the woman upstairs threatened our lives, and we observed in horror the dog across the hallway using the balcony for its defecating needs because the owners wouldn't take it down the stairs and outside. And let's not forget that it was in Country Glen that I found out I had tuberculosis! (Some might say that Country Glen is where I contracted tuberculosis, but that is yet to be definitively confirmed.) But what I will remember the most are the countless good memories that Joy and I have from Apartment C.  It was special to decorate our apartment for our very first Christmas together, and then there were the monthly Friday nights when we would take our mattress from the bedroom and put it on the floor in the living room, watching TV and eating popcorn late into the night. We even did this on a few Saturdays, celebrating Over the Rhine's song, "Let's Spend the Day in Bed." Sure, we'll be able to do all of these things in Ohio or anywhere else we live, but nothing will ever be the same as Country Glen. While we're glad to move on, the Thirty Month Lease will long be remembered with fondness.