Happy Birthday, Joy!

I am taking a brief break to write while my champagne-crème fraîche sauce thickens. It's my baby's birthday, the one day that always brings me out of my mid-winter blues and back into celebration. The salmon and shrimp are in the oven and the risotto is on the stove-top. Over the Rhine is playing softly in the background, and Joy is drinking a glass of champagne while she gets dolled up for when we meet some friends for drinks and desserts after dinner. See what I mean about getting out of that mid-winter slump? This is perfect.

Joy turned 26 today. She's past a quarter-century now, and is my own little rock star. She's winning teaching awards, taking over her current school with her big library dreams for little readers, is starting a dance ministry with our local church, is an accomplished chef (in my opinion, she's recently moved past the "cook" stage into the "chef" arena), and I still get quite excited everytime I see her and know we're going to spend the day or evening together.

One moment...gotta go check on my sauce...

It's good, but not amazing. I threw in some more pepper and fresh thyme and am going to get it to thicken a bit more to move it up in its level of deliciousness. We'll see...

I am tremendously thankful for Joy. In the past year, she finished her Master's degree in Education, wrote a library grant for her school, survived a week with the Beckers in Missouri (and also survived the ticks that we extracted from her leg and scalp!), managed to not yell at me when I sent one of our canoes down the whitewater in the Boundary Waters, and, this tops the cake, allowed--nay, encouraged--me to follow my own passions and dreams that brought us here to Ohio. She's quite the gal indeed.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from this year. Tell me, which one is your favorite?


















Happy Birthday, Joy!

Jesus is My Friend

This is...how do I say it? Wow.

Are You A Resolver Or A Nonresolver?

Happy New Year! Okay, so I'm about a week late, but get over it. Things are well here in Oxford, Ohio, and I've had a most enjoyable break that is soon to end as classes start on Monday. Joy and I had a wonderful five days in the Chicago area over Christmas, and then returned to this town that becomes wonderfully quiet when all of the undergraduates head home. I was able to easily find a table at my local coffee shop, had no trouble finding parking spaces, and didn't get close to hitting any freshman crossing the street. Good days indeed.

Many people do the whole New Year resolution thing. Some people think it's completely dumb, while others think it's a good opportunity to effect change into life. I'm a little bit in the middle. While I think reflection and renewal are appropriate when the end of one year approaches and a new year begins, I'm not too big on the whole resolution thing. Does the change of a calendar really promote actual, long-lasting change?

In psychological research, the terms "resolvers" and "nonresolvers" are used, and it has been demonstrated that resolvers are in fact more often going to make a change, but only when the goal comes from high amounts of self-concordance, the extent to which the goal reflects personal values and interests and isn't a goal simply based on felt pressures, either external or internal (Koestner & Powers, 2002).

So, if change is based on a reflection of personal interests and values, it seems that those interests and values must be cultivated and developed over the course of all twelve months, not just in the final weeks of a year. Sure, the change of years may serve as a calibration of a value/ideal, but the value/ideal must be there in the first place before any calibration can take place.

I don't say all this to make you feel rotten if you're either a big fan of resolutions or if you made a resolution two weeks ago and, how can this be?!, you've already broken the resolution. If you're in the latter category, do you just give up now, knowing that you'll probably try the exact same goal again in 11 months? That seems silly. If resolutions are about actual change, then actual change is really hard to make happen--just ask any addict who wants to find sobriety--so falls off the wagon are not only going to happen, but they should be expected to happen. And then you recalibrate, re-focus on your values and goals, consider what supports you might need to reach your goal (friends, spouse, accountability, God), and dive back in, giving yourself enough motivation to effect change, but also enough grace to effect love.