Sex and Smoking

I've recently been saddened by a few conversations, both at the OG and also some on Taylor University's campus. I'll just go ahead and say that these two communities are radically different, but at the same time, in this area, I think they are scaringly similar.

I'll start with the OG: A few of us the other night were talking about adultery. The three of us all were in agreement that it wasn't a good thing. I personally think that's a pretty good starting point. One of the managers came over to talk and we asked him what he thought about adultery. His response: "Let me see if I first understand what adultery is, because I understand adultury to be that my wife was pregnant within two weeks of our divorce being finalized." It was clear from the way he said it that he wasn't the one causing this pregnancy. So I assumed he would think adultury wasn't a good thing like the rest of us. Then he continued, "But Americans get so worked up about sex. In Europe, it doesn't really even matter...sex is just like smoking." In my mind, I wondered, how has sex become so secularized, so degeraded in value, that it is compared to smoking as a regular and acceptable occurance whenever the need is there? We all hear about how sex is horribly desanctified in our society, but rarely has it hit me in a way like comparing adultury to lighting up.

Another story from last night at the OG: Once again, a bunch of us were sitting around talking, and one of the guys said he kinda had the hots for some girl at work. He then said, however, that he wasn't interested in a relationship, but simply wanted to get some action. He said (and I quote thing young hedonist): "I have needs, ya know." It's sad to me, but sometimes I wonder if we have taken sexuality, something intended for good and glory, and turned it into something so carnal and base, that it is beyond redemption and there is no longer any possible good left. Of course, the theological part of me doesn't believe this (ie. God makes all things new and nothing is beyond His redemption, etc.), but sometimes I wonder what can possibly be done and even wonder if God made a mistake in creating sex in the first place. I don't believe this and don't want to believe this, but sometimes my mind and heart can't get around such a huge and personal issue that the questions come and the answers just aren't as readily available.

Now a story from TU: I've heard about this over the last couple of years, and it bothers me endlessly, so much more than these last two stories. Random making-out. Christians getting together (usually it starts with a flirtatious IM conversation...) and deciding that it's OK to go for a car-ride to make-out. Both parties are consenting that it's non-committal, it's purely physical (no emotions allowed), and it's acceptable. This is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. This is where I wonder why a lot of what goes on at Taylor is the same as what goes on at the OG. Sacred and secular aren't being separated. Sure, on the Christian campus, we say it's just making out, it's not like it's sex or anything. But I don't think sexuality is based on a simple decision that random making-out is fine and random touching, random oral sex, random penetration isn't fine because that "goes too far." If we as young Christians are subscribing to this view, then how are we different from those saying you shall not touch or kiss at all before married? We say they're being legalistic while we simply draw the line a little further on so that we can at least have some pleasure and gratification. For the Christian, this is basically the same as the guy at the OG who says, "I have my needs." Either way, pleasure is being sought at the expense of purity and the quest for holiness is being replaced with the quest for selfish gratification.

So I guess what I'm saying is that while the conversations at the OG were saddening and disappointing, they don't even compare to my reaction to what goes on at my dear alma mater. It's saddening to me that when people subscribe to a world-view that is supposed to be life-changing and different from that of the world, the world-view isn't actually at all different from others around us. There are so many sub-issues that go along with this (thoughts on hypocrisy, legalism, emotional attachment, gender issues, etc.) that I can't even go into now. I just wish I knew how a senior Taylor guy calls up a freshman Taylor girl to make-out and thinks he is actually glorifying God with his own life, but also doing that whole edification and loving of his Christian sister thing. I don't understand it. The struggle for purity is intense and real and I know this. I am trying to not preach something I don't myself need to also hear at some level. Ask any engaged Christian couple how they stay pure in their physical relationship and I think they'll all say it's a pretty difficult thing. So this all makes me think about my life too, which is usually a good thing. Maybe I feel so passionately about all of this because I know from personal experience what it can do and how it destroys and how none of it is "just like smoking." I dunno. These are just ramblings and I have more thoughts than words.

To completely change the subject, tomorrow night I am driving to Rockford, Illinois to meet up with sweet sweet Drew and Blom and then we're off to Vail, Colorado. Now, Drew and I have never skied before, so this is going to be an experience, and at least we have each other. Needless to say, I am pumped beyond description and will certainly let you all know how it goes. Peace out and have a great weekend. I'm heading to the mountains.