My OG Weekend

Okay, my time at the Ontario OG located on Lexington-Springmill Road is coming to a close. It is now May and May 28 is my last day. Four weeks. So in these last weeks I'm basically trying to work as much as possible, which is 40 hours...it's against OG law to go over 40 hours. It happened to me once and a manager called me and told me not to come in that day because I'd be over. Yeah, they take this 40-hour thing seroiusly. So anyway, this past weekend I worked a ton....Friday dinner, Saturday lunch, Saturday dinner, Sunday lunch, Sunday dinner. Needless to say, I served more Chicken Parm's and Tours of Italy (so overrated and overpriced) than I can remember. We were actually busy (a good thing), but I also found myself actually bored at times (not a good thing). I would like to think that boredom came in simply because I'm the best server this world has ever seen, but that's still up for debate. Just ask the lady who had coffee spilled all over her fettuccini alfredo. During these moments of boredom, however, I had some time to think. So these are my thoughts from my weekend at the OG:

1) I don't like it when people mispronounce things. Especially Italian. I know, this sounds snobbish and elitist and all of that and I don't care. And yes, there are words I need to ask about or look up, but the point is that when those words come around, I ask or look them up, I don't simply point and laugh like a child who just soiled themselves. We serve a soup at the OG called "Zupppa Toscana," and for those who want to know, it is a brothy soup with spicy sausage and potatoes, and that green stuff is not lettuce, but kale. "Zuppa" is Italian for soup and "Toscana" is...no surprise here...Italian for Tuscany, my personally favorite region in the country that has not only Florence, but also Chianti. Now for the record, "Zuppa" is pronounced (thank goodness for IPA) "Tsuppa" with the beginning like "tsunami" and a nice little Italian break between the double "p's." "Toscana" should be self-explanatory, but you'd be surprised how many people butcher this word as well. And for the record, the wine is "kianti." There is no "house Chee-an-tee" and no one who pronounces like that should be allowed to drink wine in the first place.

2) I began a dialogue at our restaurant on the issue of gender. I asked the female servers if they thought men or women tipped them better and asked men the same question. Really, this is quite a subject and there needs to be an in-depth study, perhaps a documentary. You see, the ladies said that when they have a table of all guys, they definitely get better tips, especially if they flirt. I can testify that when I let my flirtatious side out (or just say something stupid that young women laugh at), I get better tips followed by names and phone numbers. (For those of you think I'm making that up, ask Joy...I tell her about all such encounters.) The question into play is really regarding the middle-aged men and women diners and then the elderly. In general, the elderly don't tip well, be it their fixed income (who doesn't have a fixed income?!), remembering how much they were tipped in the fifties, or maybe even memories of the Depression. I'm going to start paying attention to this and maybe come to some more conclusions at a later date.

3) I also began to wonder how much money I would make if I was hot, or on a really good day after I'd been tanning, hott. I mean, if Brad Pitt were a waiter at the Ontario Olive Garden, how much more would he make than me? Certainly our culture is saturated with images and bodies and all of that, so this must play a role. I don't think I would actually do this, but what if I had plastic surgery...would the cost of plastic surgery be worth it if I made up for the cost and more in better tips?

4) Prom is in season and most girls look like sluts. They're not Hollywood starlets, and don't have the budgets, designers, or quite frankly, the bodies to pull of some of these dresses. Somehow it just doesn't work to have your midriff showing and your rather modest cleavage showing when you still show braces when you smile.

These are just a few of my thoughts from my weekend. I hope you're off to a fantastic May.

Also, tomorrow is my friend, Goose's, birthday. Happy birthday, you Bostononian soprano you.