My July Life

It seems my life has become "normal." I don't like it one bit actually.

The weddings of the summer are pretty much over, climaxing two weekends ago when Joy's brother and my brother got married the same weekend. Lots of family, lots of laughter, lots of fun. I think the absolute highlight had to have been when my sister passed out during my brother's wedding. Thankfully she was hidden at the moment by the groomsmen, so many people didn't even notice, but I saw the whole thing happen while I was singing, so needless to say, it was quite the event of the day. Matt and Becki are still in Hawaii and Nate and Jess our on their way back to the Philippines (via Hawaii and Japan...think they saw the Bellitos on the beach?) and I have been back to a whole lot of work here in Chicago.

I know it's good for me, it really is. Especially since Joy and I sat down and realized just how many expenses are coming this way this fall. Graduate school, honeymooon, wedding rings. Goodness, we even want to start a mutual fund. So many mornings I wake up at four for my Starbucks gig, get a little nap in the afternoon, and then head to the restaurant. Then I do the whole thing again the next day.

Like I said, I don't like it one bit.

It just seems like being an adult really isn't all that much fun. My dad used to always tell me this and I never wanted to believe him. I still don't. I want to believe that even if life is regular and monotonous and routine, I can still love it and I can still love my job.

Somedays I like Starbucks and other days I dream of pouring 180-degree steamed milk all over some customer. Some days I like the restaurant and other days I dream of walking out right in the middle of a busy Saturday night.

I think part of the whole problem is that I don't actually know anyone. I know Joy and her parents and that's about it. I don't feel very comfortable at either of my jobs and don't actually think any of the people I work with actually know one real thing about me. That makes me sad. It also makes me lonely. I remember I used to laugh a lot. I miss that. I miss friends. I miss being comfortable.

That's all I have to say for now. I am optimistic and remember that I hated the OG for many months and then was shockingly sad when it was time to leave. Maybe I'm just not as good at change as I thought I was.