What I'll Miss About Chicago

My time as a resident of Illinois is rapidly evaporating. The next week will be a little crazy, as Joy moves to Ohio while I'm on a wilderness therapy trip in Wisconsin. As would be expected, there are things we are excited about in moving and also things which cause us to pause and be grateful for these years in the suburbs of Chicago. Here are the top five things I shall miss about moving away, and in my next post I'll focus on what I am most excited about in moving. Here we go...

5) The City of Chicago. I want it to be known that I really like Chicago. While there is so much in the city itself that I have not yet explored, I love having the city nearby for excursions and events. We enjoyed the First Annual Looptopia, the Lyric Opera, and several Cubs games at Wrigley. We walked along the lake each summer and Michigan Avenue each Christmas. When visitors come in from the country, we like going to places like Shedd Aquarium and the Art Institute, and even checked out Frank Lloyd's Wright home with my parents. "Wicked" was wickedly fun, there is bliss in the madness of the Fourth of July (although I am not as much a fan of The Taste of Chicago), and many restaurants have fed me particularly well. And everyone knows it's just plain fun to try doing triple-toe-loops while ice skating in Millennium Park.

4). Life on the Vine. This is our church, and while it took us more time than we anticipated to settle into a church after getting married, we've really come to find community here. Particularly, we will miss what our church calls House Gathering, when a small group of people come together to live life together. We would meet each Thursday night, share a meal, and discuss and challenge each other in what it means to live an intentional life focused on sharing Christ with others in jobs and school. We would pray together, share joys and challenges, and, perhaps most frequently, laugh. This group of people have become so special to Joy and me, and it's hard to imagine what our Thursday nights will look like without them. Nonetheless, we are thankful for these relationships and the impact they have made.

3) Joe Caputo's. Joe Caputo's is our grocery store of choice. And it should be noted that finding a grocery store can be a difficult task. (I know what you're already thinking: "He's gonna miss his grocery store more than he misses his church?!") While Caputo's may not always have the selection in some items that a larger store does, they simply cannot be beat when it comes to their produce and deli. Not only are they much cheaper, but their selection is expansive and eclectic. As an International Fruit Market, they bring in produce for any variety of ethnic dishes. We would try new fruits and vegetables, while some we simply enjoyed looking at up close, not knowing exactly what this or that was or how to prepare it for digestion. Where in Ohio will I go when I need some real Italian prosciutto or pancetta? What other store will we love so much that we actually take out-of-state guests there when they come to visit so we can show them our favorite place to shop? What store will have aisles dedicated to Lithuanian, Filipino, or Croatian products? I have no idea what a Lithuanian meal might look like, but at least I know where I'd go if I ever decided to find out. 

2) The Wightmans. Of course we will miss all of our family and friends who live in the Chicago area. The Bellitos are dearly loved and are part of a support system we've come to know and appreciate, although immediate family is usually expected to play a pivotal role in one's personal life.  You don't necessarily expect an entire family of strangers to sweep in and claim you as their own. Indeed, the Wightmans, as I've blogged about before, hold a special place in my heart. This is the family that took me in when I was penniless and destitute (as many graduate students are), and gave me so much more than a roof and a bed. I really have come to see the Wightmans as my very own family in Chicago. Roger and Gale love me as parents love their children (and, in fact, have introduced me to their friends as one of their own), and I relish the time I get to spend with Ellen and Khalia, as well as Sean, Alice, and Tyler. Joy and I were able to have dinner with the family a few weeks ago, and I was caught off guard at the emotions I felt when we drove away. I hadn't expected to get very affective, but as we left sweet Leon Lane, I knew that I was driving away from one of the clearest blessings in my life during these past three years. I've taken a picture of the plate they made and gave to Joy and me at dinner, and it's positively one of the most thoughtful gifts I've been given. There is the Chicago skyline with the entire Wightman family playing on the beach. And Stephen and Joy and Colby are all there too. 

1) County Glen Apartments. The truth is that no matter where we go or where we ever end up living, Country Glen Apartments will always be our first home. As every young married couple should, we have countless stories about living in a mid-grade apartment complex, complete with pot-smoking neighbors, broken toilets, and silly signs from the management ("The garbage disposal is no longer intended for food"). I've pounded on the ceiling to get the OCD neighbor to stop vacuuming at 3am the night before an exam, and I've called the police 3 times for various reasons. We got renter's insurance after the woman upstairs threatened our lives, and we observed in horror the dog across the hallway using the balcony for its defecating needs because the owners wouldn't take it down the stairs and outside. And let's not forget that it was in Country Glen that I found out I had tuberculosis! (Some might say that Country Glen is where I contracted tuberculosis, but that is yet to be definitively confirmed.) But what I will remember the most are the countless good memories that Joy and I have from Apartment C.  It was special to decorate our apartment for our very first Christmas together, and then there were the monthly Friday nights when we would take our mattress from the bedroom and put it on the floor in the living room, watching TV and eating popcorn late into the night. We even did this on a few Saturdays, celebrating Over the Rhine's song, "Let's Spend the Day in Bed." Sure, we'll be able to do all of these things in Ohio or anywhere else we live, but nothing will ever be the same as Country Glen. While we're glad to move on, the Thirty Month Lease will long be remembered with fondness. 

Boundary Waters Pictures

Here's a link for you to use to check out some pictures from our Boundary Waters trip. Here are just a few faves...

Boundary Waters

For Joy and me, this has been the summer of vacations. Sounds glamorous, huh? First, it was Disney World with her family, followed immediately by time in Missouri with mine. We spent a week in Ohio over the 4th of July, and then we had one final vacation that was finished this week: five days in the Boundary Waters of northern Minnesota (I'll post pictures soon). We went with our friends Luke and Becca who have been staples in our lives since moving to Chicago, and our time here has been immensely blessed by their friendship. Indeed, they will be sorely missed when we move off to Ohio in a few weeks. So we decided to have a final big hang-out before we moved, and we spent several glorious days canoeing in lakes and streams on the border of the US and Canada. We'd heard much about the beauty of the Boundary Waters, and yes, it was beautiful, although in all honesty, I'm not sure it was as beautiful as we anticipated. Part of that was due to the fact that last summer there was a large fire, so much of the area we canoed was devastated. This sparked the first of several devotionals throughout the trip, as Becca challenged us all to find "Beauty in the Burn." (Another favorite topic was "Following the Master Mapmaker," which even turned into a campfire song we created.) In total, we canoed about 30 miles over the course of four days, and each was unique and wonderful.

The FIRST DAY was spent exploring Mufasa's Land (where the burn was) on Seagull Lake and we had two portages. The first portage was up some mild rapids, where we found great pleasure in pulling our canoes up the rapids. The second portage was much more difficult, as we had to carry our canoes over land for 48 rods (we learned that each rod is 16 feet). We were definitely tired on that first day, and after some swimming to cool us off, we slept soundly as some light rain dropped onto our tents.

On DAY TWO, we arose to sunny skies mixed with a little wind, and we paddled out of some small lakes into Saganaga Lake, a larger lake which forms the border between the US and Canada. After a lovely lunch on Long Island (LaBianca, we thought of you! Oh wait, I thought of you while Joy thought of the drink), we went into the open waters, which at this point were more choppy than desired, with some white caps spilling some water over the sides of the canoes. After some hard paddling, we came to an inlet and found a gorgeous camp site. Excited we were, and just as we were about to unload our canoes, we looked down and realized that there were thousands of red ants all over the place. Wondering just how bad they might be, Luke asked if they bit, and it was about two seconds later when he confirmed that, yes, they did indeed bite. The weary soldiers got back into their canoes to find another campsite. This second island was pristine as well, but as we were setting up the tent, it seems we disturbed a gnat nest. The plague from Egypt had found its way to this island, and Joy announced in horror: "This is it; this is the way I am going to die." While perhaps slightly melodramatic, it was intolerable for the first many minutes, but we built a smokey fire and the gnats eventually settled down to allow us some peace. We did some swimming and bathing (thanks to Becca bringing along some luxury shampoo and soap), and then enjoyed the fire while we watched a glorious sunset late into the evening.

DAY THREE consisted of paddling some open waters before finding a nice little island to spend the day. We decided to set up camp to claim the site and then go explore a waterfall we saw on the map. As we were setting up camp, a rodent approached ever so boldly. At first I thought it was a chipmunk, but as we looked closer, decided it must be a type of squirrel. Either way, it was as bold as my back was sun burnt, and as Joy made the PB&Js, the squirrel came right next to her and started licking the peanut butter lid. Well, he simply could not be persuaded to leave us alone, and then he began to rummage around our food bags. Dismayed at his relentlessness, we decided we couldn't leave our food on the island while we went to explore the waterfall, and loaded them back into the canoe. The waterfall ended up not being all that impressive (although Joy did pick some nice blueberries for us to enjoy and Becca found an increasingly-unique restroom location), and we came back to our island for a nice mid-afternoon nap. While we were soundly asleep, that Squirrel of Satan (okay, perhaps he was simply the Squirrel of Human Socialization) ate through one of my camping bags to get at our trail mix and chewed through the drawstring cord of another. I was livid, and done being the nice guy. I was seething: If this squirrel was going after all my food and nuts, then I was going to have to go after his. I mean, what would he (and surely he had multitudes of friends) do to the food while we were sleeping all night? Luke and I became cavemen engineers while the squirrel was laughing at us in the background, heckling joy at his clever ways. We found a large and somewhat flat rock, which we propped up on a small branch. Next, we tied some rope around the branch and put some trail mix under the rock. I was poised and ready to pull when he came close. On the first try, I pulled too late, and the little bugger got out. On the second try, the rock fell off the branch before he even got too close.

The third try worked brilliantly.

He went for the food. I pulled the rope. The rock went down. All we could see was part of his tail sticking out from under the rock, and we were all screaming with horror and awe that the contraption had actually worked. And even better, we have the whole thing on video.

DAY FOUR was the most beautiful day of paddling, as we canoed through a narrower area working our way back to where we had started several days before. In essence, we completed one large circle, and it was exhilarating to think that we might actually have navigated the islands and lakes successfully. After a few hours of paddling, we knew that the final test of our expedition was in going upstream where there were some rapids. We remembered doing this on the first day and found it so enjoyable, so we were hoping this would be the great culminating moment of the trip. Well, these rapids were much longer and must stronger, but we decided to try it anyway. Luke and I did some scouting, and we managed to get both canoes about halfway up the rapids before the river turned.

Luke and I decided to take one canoe at a time the rest of the way while the ladies secured the other canoe in a quiet area. He and I were moving well and felt optimistic about what lay ahead, but then we encountered a large tree laying in the middle of our path. As we tried to go around the path, the canoe caught on a branch of the tree and began to turn on its side. We were too slow and too late. As soon as any water got into the canoe, the whole thing began to be swept downstream. The canoe turned completely on its side, and several bags were swept out of the canoe and into the rushing water. The ladies were watching with horror a little downstream, and they secured the canoe they were managing and went to see if they could rescue the bags which were whirling past them. Meanwhile, Luke and I were able to secure the canoe with some rope, and tried to think of a plan to get the now-submerged canoe from following the bags downstream. Our plan did not work, and with a giant snap, the rope broke. The canoe began tumbling down the rapids, aluminum bouncing off rocks as it writhed in anguish at our own stupidity. While we managed to gather all of our lost belongings (well, there was that one paddle...), our spirits were low and the Lentschers' tent was soaked. We paddled just a short distance and saw the ramp where we had begun our journey.

We were revived as we unloaded our boats and reflected on our days on the water. As we drove away tired but content, we heard the sound of thunder behind us and pelting rain on our hood. We found a quaint hotel in a Grand Marais, MN and enjoyed some hot showers and fine pizza.

While I was watching the sunset one night and pumping water, I reflected that while I was on the water and out camping, I realized that I was content. For me, this was a bold realization, for contentment is something in my life I regularly seek but rarely find. Yes, indeed, the Boundary Waters were simply exquisite.

Summer Vacation #2: Becker Blast

For the first time since the Stephen & Joy wedding two and a half years ago, all members of my immediate family got together for the very first Becker Blast. I have three siblings, and they all have spouses coming in from Ohio, Colorado, and the Philippines. Add in my parents, and that's a total of ten. For extra fun, my first nephew was also there, five-week-old Elijah Samuel, and he is just about the cutest thing you've ever seen. We all were together in one big cabin in a state park in Missouri, nestled in the hills between the Ozarks and St. Louis. We did some hiking, mountain biking, swimming, and even a little cave exploring. Here are some of my favorite pictures:

Summer Vacation #1: Disney World

Joy and I just got back from back-to-back family vacations. With the Bellito clan we headed to Disney World, where I was quickly immersed in all four Kingdoms and all things magical. Here are a few pictures...

2008 Summer Reading List

Well, here it is . Back by popular demand (okay, just one person asked me), I thought I would share with you what I'm hoping to read this summer. This year has been an odd one when it comes to reading in that I haven't actually done that much. With my internship requiring me to work in the evenings, I found that I simply didn't do as much reading, which is definitely a disappointment. It also means I didn't buy as many books as usual, which Joy especially is rather thankful for. But summer is here, which hopefully will mean lazy days and even lazier nights.


1) "Wilderness and the American Mind" by Roderick Frazier Nash. Originally published in 1967, this book is currently in its fourth edition. Nash traces the concepts and attitudes of wilderness through history, particularly American history. I've heard about it for years as I've stumbled across its references while studying wilderness therapy, and thought it high time to find out for myself.



2) "God's Politics" by Jim Wallis. How does being a Christian interact with politics? I'm gonna find out more about that this summer, and this books comes with the highly coveted Drew Rundus Recommendation. It must be good.






3) "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy. I'm excited (and a little terrified) to dig into this mammoth of literary tales, with a new translation by the highly acclaimed Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky that is just beautifully published (I loved their "Anna Karenina" a few years back). There are several out there who doubt I'll actually ever read the entire 1215 pages, but I am determined to continue my pursuit of this literary Everest.



4) "Integrative Psychotherapy" by Mark McMinn and Clark Campbell. This book is making waves (good waves, I believe) in the world of Christian psychology. Seeking to serve as a truly integrative paradigm and tool for clinicians practicing psychology from a distinctively Christian worldview, this book is a necessity towards good integration.



5) "The Wilderness World of John Muir" edited by Edwin Way Teale. Yep, another book focused on nature (and there's another one below!). It's something I am thoroughly enjoying studying, and am even working on a little paper to which these books relate. Muir is of course one of the highly-regarded early conservationists, having camped with Teddy Roosevelt and founded the Sierra Club.


6) The Unfinished. I always have this problem where I start a book, get a quarter, half, or three-quarters through, and then stop reading. It's rarely because I don't enjoy the book, but my attentions move elsewhere and dust collects on the bookmark that continues to poke above the pages. Well, this summer is no different from others in that I am hoping to go back and finish several of The Unfinished. The ones at the top of my list include:

"Simply Christian" by N. T. Wright














"Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder" by Richard Louv













"Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide" by Kay Redfield Jamison.















So that's it. I think I'll be happy if I finish half of all that, but we'll see what pages have been turned when we get to September. So I simply must ask, what's on your reading list? What do you think I simply must add to my list? Do tell. Because I can always let my attentions drift with the summer breeze.

1150 Hours

As of the end of May, I have officially completed my internship year at OMNI Youth Services. It's been a long nine months, and it's been a challenging and rewarding experience. When it's all counted up, I've completed a total of 1,150 hours, 525 of which have been direct client contact hours from doing either individual, family, or group treatment. That's a lot of hours. Especially when you're working for free.

There were four groups that I co-facilitated. The first was a Junior High group focusing on Anger Management and social skills. The second was an introductory multi-family group that introduced families to the agency. The third was a multi-family group for families working on communication, substance use, or any number of issues. And my fourth group was a school group at a local high school. It was a group for Latino males who were identified by the school as at-risk for substance abuse and gang involvement.

On top of the groups, I had my regular caseload of adolescents and families. Many made progress and left much healthier than they came in; some didn't and dropped out of treatment. All in all, though, I think I did alright, and I've worked with some really fascinating and great families. The highlight of my year was definitely when I was on staff for a wilderness therapy trip to Lake Powell, Utah over spring break. It was the best clinical epxerience thus far in my limited career, and it was a wonderful blending of my personal and professional skills and interests merging together. Thankfully, I'm planning on continuing to do trips with my internship site throughout the summers while I'm in school, and I've got two slated for this summer!

Of all the clients and families I worked with, I think I'll most miss the staff. Any type of work setting can present itself with interpersonal challenges, and I can say I was really blessed with the team of clinicians I was able to work with. They supported me, treated me more like a colleague than an intern, and allowed me to by myself. For that I am grateful.

On my last day in my school group, which was a highlight throughout my year, the kids were sharing about their experience in the group and how they felt the group helped them in high school. Some gave serious comments, some made jokes, and we all laughed and enjoyed our last few class periods together. But one kid said something that has stuck with me, and I think will stick with me for a long time. You see, being a caucasian leading a group of Latino males can present its own challnges, and my co-leader was African-American. The mix of races provided a great opportunity for us to use the group as a forum to discuss race in a safe and healthy setting. I loved it. But back to that comment during that last group that continues to make me smile and be glad I'm in the field I am. One of the kids remarked, "You know, we used to just call you 'White Guy,' but now we know your name and call you Stephen."